


friday night (who am i)

by nimdlez



Category: N.Flying (Band)
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M, Slice of Life, i love a good bromance, its okay its a happy ending, this is just me being emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 19:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15250173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimdlez/pseuds/nimdlez
Summary: hoesung just wants to wallow in his misery, but first, he has to take care of his leader





	friday night (who am i)

**Author's Note:**

> hello yes this is crossposted from aff

       It's a late Friday night and Hoesung comes back to the dorm exhausted from his extra practice. They had been granted the weekend off but he had decided to stay and get in some extra hours in the practice room unlike the other members who left to go meet their friends and family. Experiencing his first live stage was an exhilarating rush, but he had left the stage with many regrets. Maybe I should have sang this better, maybe I should have looked less stiff, a flurry of maybes had been rolling through his head all day without fail. Hoesung wanted to do better, he wanted to prove his worth to the rest of his members, but he didn't know how. He feels unsettled by the lack of certainty he has. 

       The dorm is unnervingly quiet without Jaehyun's incessant noise and he marvels in the silence as he passes through the doorway before spotting Seunghyub at the table. Maybe not everyone had left after all. 

       The leader's face is pressed into the table and he appeared to be passed out drunk with cans of beer surrounding him. Hoesung sighs and walks over before beginning to collect the cans in a plastic bag. Seunghyub was a great leader, he truly was. Kind but firm, soft but strong, confident and unwavering, he was everything Hoesung aspired to be. He just wished the elder could tone down his drinking from time to time. 

       As he puts the last can in the bag, he places a hand on Seunghyub's shoulder to jostle him awake.

       "Hyung, you should go to bed." 

       Unfortunately, the leader doesn't move an inch and his soft snoring is the only evidence that the man is even alive. Hoesung sighs again. He had just wanted to go to bed and wallow in his regrets.

       "Hyungggg." 

       Finally, Seunghyub opens an eye and looks up at Hoesung. He smiles his crooked smile and Hoesung's heart flutters. Just a little. 

       "Ah, is our maknae staying with me over the weekend? I'm so lucky to have Hoesung-ie here."

       "Hyung, I've told you not to call me that." 

       "Hoesung-ie?"

       Hoesung scowls under his breath which causes Seunghyub to laugh. He knows he should be more patient with Seunghyub, but today Hoesung just doesn't feel like facing their leader's drunk persona. Unlike their kind leader, drunk Seunghyub was a very different person. Whiny. Clingy. Weak. Something all too familiar to Hoesung. He couldn't deal with this right now.

       As he spins on his feet to leave, he feels a gentle tug on his hand and looks to see Seunghyub with his head in one arm and another wrapped around his wrist. 

       "Don't go. Sit with me."

       Hoesung is too weak to say no. He sits down next to his leader and watches as Seunghyub lifts his head, staring at him, eyes half lidded and muddled. Hoesung thinks that he never wants to see Seunghyub like this again.

       "Hoesung, can I ask you a question?" The younger rolls his eyes but nods.

       "Why did you want to become an idol?"

       He pauses. He didn't know. Seunghyub, receiving no answer, continues to talk. 

       "I'll tell you why I did. I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be loved. It's simple really. I thought, 'If everyone could be loved like that, why can't I do the same?' I threw away everything I had, just to chase this thoughtless dream. My friends, my family, my girlfriend, everyone. I wanted to be a singer." Seunghyub pauses and looks over at him, as if to see if Hoesung was still listening. His gaze was piercing now, no longer that long thousand yard stare. "As a trainee I would get countless amounts of texts saying 'When are you debuting' or 'Are you famous yet?', things like that. After so many long years when I debuted, guess what happened? Not a single one of them congratulated me on my debut. It's like I fell off the face of the earth." Seunghyub's voice is bitter to the point where Hoesung can taste it and he wants it to all go away. He didn't like this, couldn't like this. He didn't know who this man was, this broken person in front of him. This wasn't the leader he knew. 

       "When we debuted, the fame was short and bittersweet. We disappeared as soon as we appeared. The name N.Flying died out in a day. My best friend never even texted me."

       "Hyung, I'm sor-"

       "But then you came along. Stupidly young and bright, full of naive potential. Hoesung I hated you. I hated the fact that someone could just enter this band so freely without qualms, just stroll right on in and change everything." Seunghyub is crying now, big fat tears that roll across his splotched cheeks and down onto his chin. "But at the same time, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your stint on that show brought us more attention than we've ever had before. People know our name now, because of you. You revived this band, hell, you revived me. You lit a flame under us that had been dying and all of us thank you for that, I, thank you for that. Thank you Hoesung, for giving us another chance." 

       As Seunghyub's monologue draws to a close, the only sound filling the room is the dull ticking of Jaehyun's Doraemon clock, an ancient memorabilia sitting next to their brand new album. A few seconds pass before Hoesung speaks.

       "You should go to bed now hyung." 

       Seunghyub cracks another crooked smile, although this time, it's a lot more heartbreaking than it should be and Hoesung's heart aches. Just a little.

       "Yeah. I'll go do that, sorry for telling you all of this, I'll probably forget about this in the morning anyway."

       The sound of the leader's feet shuffling towards his room was sadder than Hoesung could bear. He wasn't the emotional type, he didn't know what to do in situations like this. He wasn't like Kwangjin who could comfort any troubled soul, he wasn't Chahun who was so delicate and elegant with words, he wasn't Jaehyun who could light up even the darkest situations, and he wasn't Seunghyub who was a dependable shoulder to lean on. He was just Hoesung. 

       But maybe, that's all he needed to be. 

       Before Seunghyub can enter his room, Hoesung gets out of his chair and speedily walks over in front of the other male with a determined look on his face.

       "Hoesung what are-" Seunghyub's words are cut off as Hoesung hugs him tightly. He's a good two or three inches shorter than the elder, but Hoesung hugs him anyway and they stand in silence for a few seconds before he pulls back and smiles brightly. He was just Hoesung. 

       "Hyung, you know you should only cry three times in your life? Once when you are born, second when you get married, and third when noona steals your food away from you." 

       Seunghyub looks confused for a moment before he bursts out in his breathy laughter and ruffles the younger's hair. Hoesung loved Seunghyub's laugh. 

       "Ah, when did you become so cute? Our maknae has grown up, telling his leader what to do. Thank you Hoesung-ie." 

       Seunghyub pinches his cheek before disappearing into his room and he can hear the other man chuckling under his breath. He breathes out in relief before retreating to his own room. He was just Hoesung. He could figure out the rest from there. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i love n flying a lot pls support them


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